power of your mind

Photo source: ID 50918170 © Lucas Cerdá | Dreamstime.com

In the Beginning

I feel like I’ve been heavy all my life. But I was a normal weight in my childhood. Once I hit puberty I started to get what my family called the Baker Butt. I was developing into more of a pear shape. Once, when visiting my Grandpa, he joked, “Wide load!” while making the noise of a truck beeping as it backs up. It has stuck with me all these years. I loved my Grandpa dearly so that probably made it even more painful. I know he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings.  

I began to feel like I was a lesser person. It amazes me now that I could let moments like that define my self-worth. I want to go back and tell that young girl to shake it off.  I want to tell her that she was perfect just the way she was. I still struggle to tell myself that now.

The True Story

The truth is I was a healthy weight at that time. I joined the Marine Corps at 20 and maintained a healthy weight throughout all those years. Towards the end of my military tour I had my first baby and I struggled to lose the baby weight but I was still within the guidelines.

And yet my brain tells me that I was always overweight. It’s so interesting to look back at pictures and realize that I have been telling myself stories all along. Over time my thinking drove my feelings which drove my behavior and made my view of myself reality.

Over time I gained weight until, in 2017, I was 100 pounds overweight. I have some medical challenges like hypothyroid, a medication that can cause weight gain, and a sensitivity to carbohydrates. I realized I can’t continue to use those things as excuses. I’m learning that my thinking plays an even bigger role in my own story.

Think Better Thoughts

I started learning about how powerful my thoughts were and how they created the results in my life. Here’s an example of a thought model illustrating what I mean. The first model is how I was thinking. The second model is how I’m learning to think. (To learn more about how thought models work check out this post on Brooke Castillo’s Self-Coaching Model)

Old Model:

Circumstance – my Grandpa’s statement

Thought – I’m fat

Feeling – “less than”

Action – eat my feelings

Result – gain weight

New model:

Circumstance – my Grandpa’s statement

Thought – I am worthy

Feeling – confident

Action – feel my feelings, even the negative ones

Result – stop overeating, lose weight

Be careful what you tell yourself. The mind is a powerful thing. It likes to believe all your negative thinking and then it sets to work to make it come true. What if you thought better thoughts?  

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